But it just so happened that God had even more for me than all that.
In Looking for Lovely, Annie Downs talks a lot about her struggle with what she calls her "broken crazy" and how God is healing her heart, helping her see what is lovely along the way. I have been struggling with a little bit of my own "broken crazy" this Spring and God dropped this little book in my lap at the exact right time. That is so like Him, am I right?
So in honor of our Looking for Lovely's launch last week, here are five of my favorite quotes (or paragraphs...) in no particular order:
I want you to finish what you start. I want you to be the kind of woman that is absolutely full of hope to where it overflows and splashes on your people. But that comes at a cost. And I hate to tell you this so early in the book because I don't want you to quit reading, but if you want to be full of hope, you have to suffer a bit. You have to find purpose in the suffering so you don't give up. You have to persevere. And when you persevere, your character, your proven faith and tried integrity, grows. And then hope. Hope arrives.
TRUST THE PATH, I heard God say. And I knew He didn't just mean the "medium" difficulty one at Radnor Lake. He meant the questions in my heart, the things I wonder about, the worries that I am going to miss Him. I don't have to know where things are going; I don't have to know the destination; I just have to trust the path.
It makes perfect sense to me, grace and perseverance. I have learned that to be all grace is to be lazy but to be all perseverance is to be judgmental. A good balance of grace and perseverance pushes us forward without destroying our spirit when we don't meet a goal, and it continually brings us back to our goals, dreams, and desires in order to remember why we began, how far we have come to get here, and where we ultimately want to go. It gives us permission to not be perfect but to strive toward excellence. Just like when my hands are clasped together, I want my life to be marked by grace and perseverance as partners.
It's not that my life is all that different; it's just that I see it differently. So it feels like a brand-new life. I know, I know. Dramatic pause and dramatic language, but I'm telling you, that is how I feel. I feel like since I gave honest words to the broken crazy and started to get healthy around it, God has shown up and walked me into more healing than I even knew to ask for. And in it He is opening my eyes. And as I'm collecting these moments that matter, I'm actually just seeing more of Him. Because in the end that's what this is all about. When you find Jesus, you have found lovely. He is everything we need.
As Bob and I talked about water and depth and what lies beneath, he said, "Annie, to be authentically you, you have to be the same at one foot of depth as you are at thirty." At one foot? I'm finished. I'm shiny. I'm clean. I'm a great Annie. At thirty feet? I'm most definitely unfinished. There's not much lovely about that view, but it does feel freeing to say it. And freedom is incredibly beautiful.
Y'all, that is just the tip of the iceberg. Looking for Lovely was written from such a pure place and God intended not to just heal Annie's heart, but ours as well. And in this season of my life, it has made all the difference.
So do yourselves a favor, get your hands on a copy.
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