July Reads: Catching Up

Guys, I'm so lame. I've been reading like a CRAZY person, but not writing about any of it! First of all, I met my original goal of reading 30 books this year - in August! So I upped my goal to 52. At the beginning of the year, reading 30 books seemed on the very out-est outskirts of possible, and now I'm closing in on 52 - I'm SO close! So settle in and get ready to read about some really good books!

 

1. Home Is Where My People Are: The Roads That Lead Us to Where We Belong by Sophie Hudson

Y'all, Sophie Hudson is a trip. I listened to the podcast she does with Melanie Shankle and fell in love with these ladies. They are hilarious, insightful, and they love college sports. Plus, they have southern accents. Sold. So of course, I had to read their books... Duh. And I loved this one. She's shared her beautiful story about Home - not the place, but the people.

They were my friends. Plain and simple. And there was something about their unconditional acceptance that met me right in the dead center of my need. I doubt that any of them knew how much they were ministering to me, but they opened up their homes and their arms and their hearts at a time when what I needed more than anything else was to see real life integrated with real faith--in all of its messy wonderfulness.

It's the perfect balance of hysterical and real and it's all totally relatable.
5 stars

2. 41: A Portrait of My Father by George W. Bush
I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this book. I loved the unique perspective George W. Bush was able to share about his father. And I loved learning about George H. W. Bush's family life and political career from his early years through the present. He lost a daughter when she was very young. He was the U.S. Representative to China and the Director of the CIA! He was successful, but lost a few elections early on: he could have quit, but he pressed on. He's a man of honesty and integrity and I loved getting to know him. And I love that George W. Bush read the audiobook. Like him or not, this was a good read - or listen.
4 stars

3. The Racketeer by John Grisham
The Racketeer is a story about a wrongfully imprisoned lawyer. Malcolm Bannister, and a murdered judge. Luckily for Malcolm, he knows who killed Judge Fawcett and uses that to secure his release from prison. I read a John Grisham novel earlier this year and loved it. But while this one started out strong, it drifted for so long I almost gave up on it. It finally did come full circle, in a way I definitely did not expect, but it took a little too long to get there.
3 stars

4. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
I re-read this book in anticipation of Go Set a Watchmen. It had been a few years since I last read it, and it was like sitting down with an old friend. Scout, Jem, and Atticus are beloved characters - compassionate, full of integrity, forward-thinking. I loved familiarizing myself with Maycomb, the Finches, and their neighbors all over again. Everyone should read this book at least once in their life.
5 stars

5. Game Plan by Tim Roehl 
Game Plan discusses the importance of a church that gets outside itself and really ministers to its community. My church read this together and we were really excited about the how-to steps this book provided. The writing itself was a little cheesy, but Game Plan was full of insightful information that we'll be putting to use for years to come.
4 stars

6. The Target (Will Robie, #3) by David  Baldacci
As I'm reading really thought provoking books that require so much processing, I always like to read an easy, mindless, but interesting story. (Enter this book.) Will Robie is an exciting character, an assassin for the CIA, who partners with Jessica Reel for a mission in North Korea. The ramifications of their success follow them all the way back to the States. I've read some of this series before and enjoyed reading this one again.
4 stars

7. The Blue Castle by Lucy Maud Montgomery
It's no secret that I love the Anne of Green Gables series. So it's only natural to read other books by the famed Lucy Maud Montgomery. Valancy Stirling is a docile, obedient daughter to her over-bearing mother. In her twenties, she is already considered an old maid. After learning she has a terminal illness, she sheds her compliant ways and becomes the person she's always dreamed of being. The Blue Castle is endearing and funny and was a great read!
5 stars

August books will be posted soon! What are YOU reading? Book recommendations are always welcome!

Happy reading, friends!

 

 

 



Pumpkin Pie

So often we don't know our family is special until we're older. We don't understand the beauty or the heritage infused into what we think are our regular days.

I know this, of course, from experience.

My gramma Evalyne baked a few pies for my dad's 10th birthday. And she baked a few more for his 11th. Over a period of years, the Saturday before Halloween was affectionately dubbed Pumpkin Pie Day.  And in 2011, the 39th annual Pumpkin Pie Day, our last with our precious gramma, we baked 154 pumpkin pies.

 

Gramma Evalyne, Pumpkin Pie Day 2007

Thursday mornings were for preparing the long-neck [butter-nut] squash - pressure cooking to perfection and scooping the good stuff from the now-tender skin. Fridays were for making the crust [combining simple ingredients by hand], rolling them all out [no small task], mixing the squash with all the good stuff [in four-gallon Tupperware containers with a paint stirrer attached to a drill], filling each crust, and baking. Saturdays were for opening your home [no matter the messy-ness or lack of space], enjoying the best pumpkin pie I've ever had [my humble, but biased opinion], spending time with family and friends, and listening to the best music I'll never hear again.

 

Gramma mixing her crust, Pumpkin Pie Day 2009

 

 

First pie from the oven, Pumpkin Pie Day 2011

What was my regular Saturday-before-Halloween, I actually came to know was sacred.

This day taught me many things over the years - the importance of family, the beauty in feeding good food to the people you love. But it continues to teach me deeper lessons as I attempt to honor my gramma and this day year after year. She didn't wait for someone to invite her over; she gathered her people. She didn't only gather her people when her house was in perfect order; they were welcomed despite the mess of a house well lived-in. She didn't buy can after can of pumpkin from the grocery store [although there's no shame in that]; she cultivated and lovingly tended to her garden, and her long-neck squash, all Spring, Summer and Fall in affectionate anticipation of this day. She didn't insist on doing it all herself; she had a team of brothers, sisters, daughters, sons, granddaughters, grandsons, friends who willing sacrificed these days to be a part of something beautiful. [And I'll add that it didn't feel like a sacrifice, it felt like a privilege.]

 

Gramma and her sisters, Pumpkin Pie Day 2009

 

And this year, as I attempted to take her recipe for 20 pies [!!!], and divide each ingredient by roughly 1/12 to just make 2 [what is five pounds of sugar divided by 12? I don't know either. Guess inserted here.], I was reminded that the beauty is in the attempt, whether the pie tasted like gramma's pumpkin pie or not. Such a hard lesson when you just want to taste gramma's pie one more time. I have cried in years past [ok, every year since she's been gone], so discouraged when it didn't turn out like hers, even when it was good. But not this year. This year I told myself she was honored in my attempt. And I know that it is true.

 

Daddy and I, Pumpkin Pie Day 2015

I am so very thankful for such a rich heritage, for a gramma who has taught and will continue to teach me lessons, long after her passing. Not because of anything she ever said to us, but because of the way she lived her life, day after day, year upon year - pouring herself out for the things and the people she loved so well.

 

My beautiful gramma, Pumpkin Pie Day 2008

For the Love of Community and a Free Book!

Y'all, this has been a summer. It has been full, and terrifying, and good, and uncertain, and tear-jerking, and life-giving.

And in the midst of all that, there was For the Love and the launch team. When I got Jen's email that I had been accepted, I screamed, I laughed, and I immediately read it to my husband who said, "What's that mean?" To which I replied, "I'm not exactly sure." And y'all, there's no way I could've been.

In the first days of the launch team we were a group of 500 who rallied around this fantastic author, determined to help her make this book a best-seller. And in the following weeks, after falling hard over these words that Jen wrote, sharing our favorite parts (all of it), we realized that we were made of the same fabric. No matter what part of the world we lived in, no matter what our situation, no matter our marital or parental status, these words resonated in our hearts.

"We will mother all our children and grandmother all our grandchildren. We will cheer each other on, refusing to speak doubt into our gifts. When you are scared, I will declare, 'You can do this.' When you whisper a dream, I'll holler through a bullhorn that you are brave and wonderful and important! When I am beaten down, you will remind me that I am an approved worker with no shame; we lift each other's heads and handle truth for one another."

We want to love people well. We want safe spaces to tell our stories without fear of judgment. We want to be that safe space for others. We want to give grace to ourselves and we want to give ridiculous amounts of that grace to others. We want to follow the calling the Lord has placed on our lives. We want to cheer each other on as others are doing the same. We want to laugh hysterically at ourselves and with each other. We desire real, life-giving community. We want to do all that in the name of Jesus, who we love so desperately. And we hope that love, grace, and encouragement spills over into the lives of everyone around us, that it's contagious. We hope it spreads like wildfire.

And I'm telling you, this kind of community For the Love talks about, it's possible. I know it's true because I've seen it. This launch team has transcended anything I thought was possible. We are sisters (with four brothers thrown in) who share the funniest, most heart-warming, and even the most terrible parts of our days. And then we rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.

When mom was in the hospital and we were waiting to hear if she had cancer, I told the 500 and knew they would carry us in prayer. When I felt like God was telling me to leave my job, I knew they would help me search for answers. We have watched some get married, been there when parent's passed, supported each other as we sell t-shirts, bracelets, mugs, prayed during surgeries of those close to us, and showed up for each other over and over again. They give me courage, hope.

In a world of darkness and difficulty, let's not make each other's lives harder. It's my prayer that we internalize these words and be the community we're hoping for. I want us to be the light of Jesus in a hurting and searching world. In a generation that is determined to make a lasting difference, this is it. This is the only thing that matters.

"I see you, cheering each other on and calling forth the best in one another, and it slays me. This is the stuff. This is what we were made for. This is how to live well. If we prefer each other as Jesus told us to there is nothing our community of women cannot handle. Give it to us: injustices, struggles, suffering, loss, heartbreaks, obstacles, life. We got this, together. Within this community, we strengthen each other to love our families and neighbors and cities and world. We point each other to God and call out our blessedness. It is so incredibly powerful."

Readers, I'm giving away a FREE copy of For the Love. All you need to do is find my giveaway post on my personal page and share it! Contest ends Thursday, 08/20 at midnight EST. Winner will be announced Friday morning! Happy sharing!

For the Love Favorites

So, y'all may have heard me talk about this little book by Jen Hatmaker called For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards, out next Tuesday. It's no big deal. I mean, seriously, it's not like I can't stop talking about it. Oh wait...

Being on the launch team for this book has been such a blessing this year. The #500 started as an online community who love Jen Hatmaker, but became a real life community who believe in the mission of this book. And we have loved, supported and cheered each other along in the midst of our every day lives. Also, we have watched a LOT of Gilmore Girls.

Full disclosure: this book is a game changer. It is hilarious, full of real life, and abounding in grace - for ourselves and each other. I should have guessed this would happen, but I fell in love with these words. And to give you just a glimpse, below are five of my favorite quotes.

 "This is why we live and breathe: for the love of Jesus, for the love of our own souls, for the love of our families and people, for the love of our neighbors and this world. This is all that will last. Honestly, it is all that matters. Because as Paul basically said: We can have our junk together in a thousand areas, but if we don't have love, we are totally bankrupt. Get this right and everything else follows. Get it wrong, and life becomes bitter, fear-based, and lonely. Dear ones, it doesn't have to be. Love really is the most excellent way."

 "I approach this one gently, because you are my beloved sisters, but I call to the witness stand high-waisted jeans. They were bad the first time and are now repeat offenders. (Watch early episodes of Friends if you need to be reminded.) I can't get behind a sixteen-inch rise. Three more inches and it's a strapless pantsuit. Heaven help if you have even a tiny pouch of belly flesh; high-rise jeans are basically a display case for your butterball. Sure, your waist looks tiny up in your rib cage, but your butt is half the length of your body. It looks like my Grandma King's backside, and all due respect to Grandma and may she rest in peace, but that is not a compliment. (Grandma, you had a great rack. We all have different strengths.)"

"If a sermon promises health and wealth to the faithful, it isn't true, because that theology makes God an absolute monster who only blesses rich westerners and despises Christians in Africa, India, China, South America, Russia, rural Appalachia, inner-city America, and everywhere else a sincere believer remains poor. If it isn't also true for a poor single Christian mom in Haiti, it isn't true."



 "Instead of waiting around for church to assemble a perfect group dynamic of People Who Can Meet on Tuesdays, maybe just invite some folks over. A shared table is the supreme expression of hospitality in every culture on earth. When your worn-out kitchen table hosts good people and good conversations, when it provides a safe place to break bread and share wine, your house becomes a sanctuary, holy as a cathedral. I've left a friend's table as sanctified and renewed as any church service. If you have a porch, then you have an altar to gather around."

"Be kind. Be you. Love Jesus."

If you read any book this year, For the Love should be it. And when you do read it, let me know. We'll go out for coffee and discuss.



 

   

June Reads

Here we are, at the end of June, which means one thing - the fourth of July is right around the corner! I see family, fireworks, salmon burgers and watermelon in my very near future. Yay! 

Carter-bug and I at last year's parade. This picture expresses 
EXACTLY how I feel about the fourth. Pure joy!

It also means it's time for me to share my June reads! [I did my fair share of reading this past month, but to be fair, the first two books I read mostly in May and just happened to finish in June.]

1. Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way by Shauna Niequist

Have I ever mentioned that I love Shauna Niequist? Yes, I believe I have. I, of course, loved every word of this book. And I love her short-essay writing style. It's a book you can leave on your coffee table to read when you have a few minutes and always pick it back up without missing a beat. Her words are beautiful:

"Grace isn't about having a second chance; grace is having so many chances that you could use them through all eternity and never come up empty. It's when you finally realize that the other shoe isn't going to drop, ever. It's the moment you feel as precious and handmade as every star, when you feel, finally, at home for the very first time."

For me, this book had the right words at the right time and was a breath of fresh air to my weary soul.
5 stars

2. Glory Be by Augusta Scattergood
This was a beautiful story of the Civil Rights movement in the south told from the perspective of Glory, an innocent girl about to turn 12. Everything she knows is challenged by people new to her town and she finds herself bravely doing the right thing in the face of persecution by those in her community. I really enjoyed listening to this one.
4 stars

3. The Inner Circle (Culper Ring, #1) by Brad Meltzer
Brad Meltzer is a master of intertwining the historically real with the tales of fascinating characters. Beecher, an archivist for the U.S. government, finds himself in the middle of a Presidential conspiracy and quickly realizes he doesn't know who he can trust. I first read this book on my honeymoon and loved it. With the new book in the series released this month, I re-read to brush up on the story again. I was caught up all over from the very first word. 
5 stars

4. The Fifth Assassin (Culper Ring, #2) by Brad Meltzer
The second book in the Culper Ring Series is just as fast-paced and gripping as the first. With someone killing local priests by copying presidential assassinations, it quickly becomes clear that an attempt on the life of current President, Orson Wallace, is inevitable. Beecher and the Culper Ring are leading their own investigation to try to catch the killer before it's too late. I actually picked this book up on our honeymoon in the Chicago airport on the way to Florida and read this one before I read the first book in the series. It was nice this time to read the books in order - even better the second time around.
5 stars

5. Unlucky 13 (Women's Murder Club, #13) by James Patterson
I finished the two Culper Ring books sooner than I thought and, while waiting for the third book to arrive in the mail, listened to this book. The series is full of quick and easy reads about four strong, female characters - an investigator, a coroner, a lawyer and a journalist - and I have enjoyed them all. Not particularly intricately written, but a good summer read.
3 stars

6. Gray Mountain by John Grisham
There was a summer in high school when I borrowed every John Grisham book from my local library and devoured them. Reading Gray Mountain reminded me why I love these books so much. This legal thriller about the evils of the mining industry had me on the edge of my seat. And bonus, they mentioned Pikeville, Kentucky a few times - an area near my family's [very] small town of McDowell, Kentucky. I was sad when it was over and plan to read more this summer!
5 stars

7. The Farm by Tom Rob Smith
I don't even remember how I heard about this book, but it's been on my list of books to read for quite some time. The Farm is a tale of a a son caught in between his parents' very different stories and his quest to find the truth. Touching on mental illness and abuse, The Farm keeps you interested until the very last word. 
4 stars

8. The President's Shadow (Culper Ring, #3)  by Brad Meltzer
I love this series and have been excited to read this book for a year and a half; it did not disappoint. When body parts turn up in the gardens at the White House and Camp David, Beecher and the Culper Ring are determined to find the killer and the weakness of the security provided by the Secret Service all while searching for the truth about Beecher's own father. Fantastic read.
5 stars

I'm currently reading Home is Where My People Are by Sophie Hudson and already have July reading plans that include How To Kill a Mockingbird, Go Set a Watchman,  Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, along with a few [beautiful] recipe books - Date Night In and Sunday Suppers: Recipes + Gatherings. 

What are you reading this summer?

thankful all over again

I spent part of my day today going through old emails to either purge or save [riveting work, I assure you], and I came across a treasure of emails from our wedding planning and house-hunting adventures - which, if you remember, was all happening at the same time. [To refresh your memory, we closed on our house four days before the wedding. FOUR DAYS! It's like I was trying to give myself a heart attack.] Me, Nate, my mom, my mother-in-law, and all my sisters sent emails about e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g, so I got to relive it all and spent the better part of an hour with a huge smile plastered on my face. 

I had almost forgotten that the details overwhelmed me early on, but Nate gently reminded me we'd make one decision at a time. [Does it really matter that the tablecloths won't match my dress? This was a real question that completely stressed me out...] The important stuff would happen and maybe the unimportant stuff wouldn't, but so what? And after that, it was [mostly] smooth sailing. No, in fact the tablecloths do not have to match my dress. [Who notices those kinds of things anyway?] The tiered cake can only be vanilla? Ok. We can't find the pants for the groomsmen in everyone's size? We'll figure something out. No one can find the bows for the pews [or pew bows, which my sisters and I kept calling them because it's hil-arious - we're so mature]? They're not necessary anyway. What mattered is that my families worked so hard and so well together to make our wedding day everything we hoped it would be and that, at the end of the day, Nate and I would be married.

Planning with my family really was so much fun, I married the man of my dreams, and Nate and I had the best day ever. And today, I was thankful for that all over again. 

2015 reading goal and book reviews

At the beginning of the year I listened to Jamie Ivey interview her friend, Lindsey Paschal, on her podcast. [Which, by the way, is so good - when I found her podcast, I binge-listened to them all!] Lyndsey read 52 books in 2014  - I'm not sure if you just did that math, but that's a book a week. Did I mention she's a mom to two young kids? Talk about accomplishment. I immediately decided to set a reading goal of my own for 2015, although I wasn't crazy enough to think 52 books was realistic....

I decided on 30 books in 2015 in honor of my 30th birthday and set up a Goodreads account to keep track. [Goodreads is a game changer - you know all those times you thought I want to read that book...later and then forgot? It keeps track of books you want to read, books you're currently reading, and books you've already read. Every time I have that exact thought, I search for it on my Goodreads account and add it to the books I want to read. I'll never forget again!]. 

Below is a list of the books I've read through May with a tiny review [because who wants to read a blog with 15 full-out book reviews - too much]. And you can friend me on Goodreads here.

1. Bread & Wine: A Love Letter to Life Around the Table, with Recipes by Shauna Niequist
I've already written a little bit about this book here, but I'll say it again. I LOVED it. One of my favorite reads of the year about life, making space for one another, and making good food. 
Top three for the year - 5 stars [Can I give it 32 stars on a 5-star scale? I guess I can do whatever I want on my blog...]

2. Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist
Since I loved Bread & Wine so much, I decided to go back and read her first book - and it was so worth it. Loved this book of short essays about celebrating the small things.
5 stars

3. Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand
I love historical non-fiction (and fiction too, for that matter) and was so glad I read this. It's a beautifully written and very real story about the life of Louis Zamperini and his time in the service and as a POW in Japan in WWII. So inspiring.
5 stars

4. Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
This story of a very dysfunctional marriage, while very well-written, just wasn't my thing.
1 star [brutal, I know, but it's how I felt...]

5. For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards by Jen Hatmaker
Just ask my husband, I love everything Jen Hatmaker. She's a truth-teller, but she does it with such sincerity and grace - a true representative of Jesus. And this book was my favorite of hers, which is saying something. It comes out in August and every woman I know needs to own it. 
Top three for the year, 5 stars [or 32 - again, my blog]

6. Anne of Green Gables (Anne of Green Gables, #1) by Lucy Maud Montgomery
I listened to this in my car on my commute and loved every second. It's a beautiful story of an unconventional family born from adoption. And it reminds me of my childhood with my gramma - making cherry aid and watching Anne of Green Gables on VHS. 
5 stars

7. The Wildwater Walking Club by Claire Cook
It's a simple story of a woman who finds herself again... It was a cheap buy on my Nook, and I ended up really liking it.
4 stars

8. Lincoln's Last Days: The Shocking Assassination that Changed America Forever by Bill O'Reilly
Again, I love to read about history. Informative and interesting, but not particularly well-written. 
3 stars

9. Anne of Avonlea (Anne of Green Gables #2) by Lucy Maud Montgomery 
I listened to this one in the car as well. It's the second story in the series about Anne's time as a school teacher. This series is just so endearing.
5 stars

10. The Husband's Secret by Liane Moriarty
A very intricately woven story about a secret that binds three women. Again, well written, but not my favorite. 
3 stars

11. Anne of the Island (Anne of Green Gables #3) by Lucy Maud Montgomery 
You'd be surprised by how much time I spend in the car. Thank God for free audiobooks. It's the third story in the series about Anne's college years. I loved this one as well.
5 stars

12. Anne's House of Dreams (Anne of Green Gables #5) by Lucy Maud Montgomery
The fifth story in the series is about Anne's marriage to Gilbert Blythe. [I skipped #4 because I couldn't find a free version. Haha!] I think each one of these books is my favorite and then I remember I love them all equally, but differently.
5 stars

13. All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr
A fictional story set in World War II about two people on different sides of the War whose worlds are intertwined. I thought this was beautifully written and loved every word.
4 stars

14. Nobody's Cuter than You by Melanie Shankle
I actually bought this book at Amazon's suggestion with I ordered Shauna Niequist's new book, Savor. Then I heard Melanie on another one of Jamie's podcasts and I thought hey, I just bought her book! Then I found the podcast Melanie regularly does with Sophie Hudson - these women are hysterical. Don't listen to them in public - people will wonder why you're constantly cracking up...all by yourself. [Not that I know from experience...] All that to say...I love everything about Melanie, including and especially this book about the importance of girl friends. Loved it.
Top three for the year, 5 [32] stars

15. The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins
I read this book because I had heard such good things about it, but it was another one of those that I wasn't crazy about. It was a very intricate, well-written story, but not for me.
3 stars

I would love to know what you're reading this summer! 

don't you know that's not your name

I heard this song on my drive to work this morning, and in the midst of a season in my life filled with so much uncertainty, I felt free. I hope you can read through them [or listen here] and know that no matter what is going on in your life, no matter what your story is or was, no matter what others say you are [or what you call yourself on your worst days] that is not who you are in Christ. 

Greater

by MercyMe

Bring your tired

Bring your shame

Bring your guilt

Bring your pain

Don't you know that's not your name

You will always be much more to me

Everyday I wrestle with the voices

That keep telling me I'm not right

But that's alright

Cause I hear a voice and He calls me redeemed

When others say I'll never be enough

And greater is the One living inside of me

Than he who is living in the world

In the world

In the world

And greater is the One living inside of me

Than he who is living in the world

Bring your doubts

Bring your fears

Bring your hurt

Bring your tears

There'll be no condemnation here

You are holy, righteous and redeemed

Every time I fall

There'll be those who will call me a mistake

Well that's ok

Cause I hear a voice and He calls me redeemed

When others say I'll never be enough

And greater is the One living inside of me

Than he who is living in the world

In the world

In the world

And greater is the One living inside of me

Than he who is living in the world

Whoa ohhh ohhh

Whoa ohhh ohhh

He's Greater

He's Greater

Whoa ohhh ohhh

Whoa ohhh ohhh

He's Greater

He's Greater

There'll be days I lose the battle

Grace says that it doesn't matter

Cause the cross already won the war

He's Greater

He's Greater

I am learning to run freely

Understanding just how He sees me

And it makes me love Him more and more

He's Greater

He's Greater

There'll be days I lose the battle

Grace says that it doesn't matter

Cause the cross already won the war

He's Greater

He's Greater

I am learning to run freely

Understanding just how He sees me

And it makes me love Him more and more

He's Greater

He's Greater

Cause I hear a voice and He calls me redeemed

When others say I'll never be enough

And greater is the One living inside of me

Than he who is living in the world

In the world

In the world

And greater is the One living inside of me

Than he who is living in the world

There'll be days I lose the battle

Grace says that it doesn't matter

Cause the cross already won the war

He's Greater

He's Greater

I am learning to run freely

Understanding just how He sees me

And it makes me love Him more and more

He's Greater

He's Greater

[There's so much truth in all these words, but I italicized my favorite parts]

gather

I just finished reading Bread and Wine by Shauna Niequist. I devoured it. Could not put it down. The writing and the recipes... I am inspired and encouraged, a better person for reading it. It was good for my heart and my soul, and it very naturally lead to such intimate prayer time with my Savior – not just talking, but really listening…

For a very long time, I have just let life happen. And while that is very me, in the last few months, I have felt called to…more. So I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about 2015, and while I have [lots of] ideas, I don’t yet know what “more” is.

But I have lots of ideas. Me. And while I have been praying about it, it was more like talking at God than having a conversation.

But while I was reading Monday, curled up on our comfy loveseat overlooking our backyard, it struck me – the people God has given me, those people, those relationships, they are what matter. They are my tribe, my community, my “more”. And being intentional about those relationships is the most important thing.

So my theme for 2015 is…

Maybe it’s a big traditional gathering like Thanksgiving or Christmas; maybe it’s being in the kitchen making a meal with my family; maybe it’s hanging out around the table on a Saturday afternoon enjoying a conversation with my husband and my daddy; maybe it’s serving with my church family or singing alongside them in Sunday service; maybe it’s a cup of coffee with a friend.

Maybe it’s all those things and then some.

But no matter the gathering, I will be intentional about creating space for life with the people I love - space for conversation, space for laughter and tears, space for my people to come and tell their stories because they know they are loved. Because those honest moments, good and bad, are our lives. And I want to be present for it all.

Father God, thank You for Shauna and for her gift of words. Thank You for knowing me well and for caring enough to give me a book to read at just the right time. Bless this year. Bless my people. And bless the gatherings, big and small. May You be honored in all of it. I love You so much. Amen.

happy new year!

As 2015 is just beginning, my heart is yearning for a fresh start, a blank page.

This is the year I can do something to make a difference; it’s the year I can dream big; it’s the year I can do something about those dreams.

And while I believe that is possible, I am still someone who wants to get up earlier, but am not a morning person. I am still someone who wants to do big things, but sometimes doesn't want to do anything at all. I am still a person who desperately wants to know more and more about my Jesus, but sometimes isn’t willing to do the work. I am still someone who knows the right thing to do, who desperately wants to do those right things, but sometimes doesn't.

That can be life, can’t it?

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.”  [Romans 7:15-19]

On my own, I am nothing but someone with good intentions who is drowning. But the great news [the news we just celebrated at Christmas] is that we are not alone. I am not alone.

“What a wretched [woman] I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!”  [Romans 7:24-25]

I am clinging desperately to that truth this year. 

And so, this year, I am remembering all I learned this advent season. I am remembering that Jesus came as a baby, fully God and fully human, to set us free, to set me free. I am remembering that while I will always struggle with doing the wrong things, He loves me. He pursues me. There is grace and mercy. For me. And I’ll never have to wait for a new year for a fresh start.

“In Him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”  [John 1:4-5]

Father God, thank You for Your truth. Thank You that You are my constant Pursuer, that You know me, every corner, every thought, and You love me anyway. I pray, Father, that I would live in Your truth this year. Father, I pray for those reading this, that they would see You and experience You in new ways this year. I love You so much. Amen.

Happy New Year, my friends!