gather

I just finished reading Bread and Wine by Shauna Niequist. I devoured it. Could not put it down. The writing and the recipes... I am inspired and encouraged, a better person for reading it. It was good for my heart and my soul, and it very naturally lead to such intimate prayer time with my Savior – not just talking, but really listening…

For a very long time, I have just let life happen. And while that is very me, in the last few months, I have felt called to…more. So I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about 2015, and while I have [lots of] ideas, I don’t yet know what “more” is.

But I have lots of ideas. Me. And while I have been praying about it, it was more like talking at God than having a conversation.

But while I was reading Monday, curled up on our comfy loveseat overlooking our backyard, it struck me – the people God has given me, those people, those relationships, they are what matter. They are my tribe, my community, my “more”. And being intentional about those relationships is the most important thing.

So my theme for 2015 is…

Maybe it’s a big traditional gathering like Thanksgiving or Christmas; maybe it’s being in the kitchen making a meal with my family; maybe it’s hanging out around the table on a Saturday afternoon enjoying a conversation with my husband and my daddy; maybe it’s serving with my church family or singing alongside them in Sunday service; maybe it’s a cup of coffee with a friend.

Maybe it’s all those things and then some.

But no matter the gathering, I will be intentional about creating space for life with the people I love - space for conversation, space for laughter and tears, space for my people to come and tell their stories because they know they are loved. Because those honest moments, good and bad, are our lives. And I want to be present for it all.

Father God, thank You for Shauna and for her gift of words. Thank You for knowing me well and for caring enough to give me a book to read at just the right time. Bless this year. Bless my people. And bless the gatherings, big and small. May You be honored in all of it. I love You so much. Amen.

happy new year!

As 2015 is just beginning, my heart is yearning for a fresh start, a blank page.

This is the year I can do something to make a difference; it’s the year I can dream big; it’s the year I can do something about those dreams.

And while I believe that is possible, I am still someone who wants to get up earlier, but am not a morning person. I am still someone who wants to do big things, but sometimes doesn't want to do anything at all. I am still a person who desperately wants to know more and more about my Jesus, but sometimes isn’t willing to do the work. I am still someone who knows the right thing to do, who desperately wants to do those right things, but sometimes doesn't.

That can be life, can’t it?

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.”  [Romans 7:15-19]

On my own, I am nothing but someone with good intentions who is drowning. But the great news [the news we just celebrated at Christmas] is that we are not alone. I am not alone.

“What a wretched [woman] I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!”  [Romans 7:24-25]

I am clinging desperately to that truth this year. 

And so, this year, I am remembering all I learned this advent season. I am remembering that Jesus came as a baby, fully God and fully human, to set us free, to set me free. I am remembering that while I will always struggle with doing the wrong things, He loves me. He pursues me. There is grace and mercy. For me. And I’ll never have to wait for a new year for a fresh start.

“In Him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”  [John 1:4-5]

Father God, thank You for Your truth. Thank You that You are my constant Pursuer, that You know me, every corner, every thought, and You love me anyway. I pray, Father, that I would live in Your truth this year. Father, I pray for those reading this, that they would see You and experience You in new ways this year. I love You so much. Amen.

Happy New Year, my friends!