happy new year!

As 2015 is just beginning, my heart is yearning for a fresh start, a blank page.

This is the year I can do something to make a difference; it’s the year I can dream big; it’s the year I can do something about those dreams.

And while I believe that is possible, I am still someone who wants to get up earlier, but am not a morning person. I am still someone who wants to do big things, but sometimes doesn't want to do anything at all. I am still a person who desperately wants to know more and more about my Jesus, but sometimes isn’t willing to do the work. I am still someone who knows the right thing to do, who desperately wants to do those right things, but sometimes doesn't.

That can be life, can’t it?

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.”  [Romans 7:15-19]

On my own, I am nothing but someone with good intentions who is drowning. But the great news [the news we just celebrated at Christmas] is that we are not alone. I am not alone.

“What a wretched [woman] I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!”  [Romans 7:24-25]

I am clinging desperately to that truth this year. 

And so, this year, I am remembering all I learned this advent season. I am remembering that Jesus came as a baby, fully God and fully human, to set us free, to set me free. I am remembering that while I will always struggle with doing the wrong things, He loves me. He pursues me. There is grace and mercy. For me. And I’ll never have to wait for a new year for a fresh start.

“In Him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”  [John 1:4-5]

Father God, thank You for Your truth. Thank You that You are my constant Pursuer, that You know me, every corner, every thought, and You love me anyway. I pray, Father, that I would live in Your truth this year. Father, I pray for those reading this, that they would see You and experience You in new ways this year. I love You so much. Amen.

Happy New Year, my friends!